How do you cope when you have reached the point at which true, genuine culture shock sets in? I don’t mean the kind where everything seems new, different, maybe strange (or even wrong?) but still a little exciting all at the same time. I am talking about the point when you are truly involved in a small-town community in which you will always be the outsider.
It is only to be expected. I am officially La Gringa or sometimes referred to more affectionately as La Gringita. Some people actually greet me on the street using my real name (or yell my name, just to see if I’ll turn around), despite the fact that we have never met. I know that no matter where I go, who I dance with, what restaurants I eat in, or what community activities I try to start, I will, for better or for worse, be part of the local chismes the following day. I am not putting myself on a pedestal, nor do I think people are out to get me. I am just being realistic. I have learned the realities of Latin American small town behavior. This is the reality partly because many here are not accustomed to seeing foreigners. But the other component is that I am here trying to “make a difference” and people are legitimately fascinated by that. I have been interviewed on both the local radio station and TV channels several times.
Sometimes is feels heartwarming to know that I am a little bit famous and that people care about what I am doing. But most of the time it feels absolutely absurd. It becomes exhausting and sometimes infuriating when people won’t stop staring at me no matter how many times I pass them on the street. (I imagine it is this same feeling that causes celebrities to smash paparazzi cameras.)
I am not the first, nor will I be the last gringa living in a small town environment to experience this kind of celebrity-ish phenomenon. Maybe if I were to stay here for years, this would eventually subside. But the question is…what do I do in the meantime?
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When I was in Nicaragua, people called me “chinita” on the street. But then as time went on and I got browned from the sun, I fit in more and a lot of people just thought I was some distant cousin or from another Latin American country or something (until they heard me speak). It was a relief since I don’t like a lot of attention!