I’m in a dangerous place.
Not because of the drug war going on around me. Nor because I’m 30 feet up a rock face of El Potrero Chico. Not because I’m hanging by a 10-millimeter-wide chord on my handy dandy harness.
It’s dangerous because it’s comfortable. The comfort zones of rock climbing are my archenemy. I get stuck. Stuck because I feel secure. Stuck because I can’t see any holds as big as the one I’m clinging to right now. Reggaeton is blasting in the background. If I stay here long enough it will change to estilo Norteño. A family of five is huffing up the hundreds of stone steps to get a glimpse from the mirador. And I stay still, wondering where my next move might be.
Comfort zones usually come before a small internal panic. I see no more moves. I want down. Down. I suddenly don’t care about finishing.
And so it goes in Mexico. Most days I can take a step at a time. Moving at a steady pace. The alarm wakes me up. I get ready, go to class. Teach English. Then teach some more. The students that love class make me think (even if only for a day) that I’m actually making a difference in someone’s life. That thought is comforting, and fleeting. Suddenly the thoughts of home, the petty Mexican annoyances — no water pressure, un-disciplineable students, language barriers and cockroaches — cloud my eyesight. I can’t see beyond these things. Where’s the top of the route, the end of the road?
Focus, I tell myself. Then I feel the rock. I tell it I’m going to conquer it. And the rock concedes. I see what I didn’t while panicking. I finish the remaining 70 feet. Smiles follow my accomplishment. I happily get lowered down and land on secure ground. Can’t stay still. Can’t get too comfortable. Gotta keep moving. So I start the descend down the stone stairs. There’s much yet to be done in Mexico.
Gena Thomas is currently living in El Carmen, Mexico and is a faith-based coffee shop manager and women’s coop laborer. For more on her experiences, check out her blog.
Latest posts by genalou
- Cheesecake Philosophy - July 11th, 2011
- Counter-Culture Appreciation - January 31st, 2011
- Maneuvering Mexico's Methods - December 31st, 2010
- Pregnant in Latin America - Now What? - December 17th, 2010
- Unregistered Nursing - November 19th, 2010
- On Coffee and Marriage - November 5th, 2010
- Combat Mosquitoes with Karate Moves - October 22nd, 2010
- Day in the Life: Bungee Fun - October 13th, 2010
- Skyping for School - September 24th, 2010
- Worlds Apart - September 10th, 2010
Oh, I LOVE El Potrero! Keep on climbing, keep on and finish strong. It’s a mind attitude. The renewing of our mind is the biggest battle. If we can conquer that, we can conquer anything! Breathe… now look for the next hold.
So great to find other folks still engaging in the war for Mexico, standing with our brothers and sisters amidst the agony and fear raging for their lives.
We are excited that you found our blog; we will be checking out what you are doing on your blog as well. How exciting, another piece of the tapestry woven together!
this is a beautiful comparison!