Así es la vida.
It is a popular phrase for life’s less pleasant moments that I have heard far too often this week. Just as the Chinese shrugged off government-enforced civil liberties violations, Guatemalans casually accept whatever hand is dealt, something many of us are too fortunate to understand. Let’s just say that the families in my neighborhood mark their ups and downs on a different scale. It’s almost July, after all, and I am still complaining to anyone who will listen about my unexpectedly copious tax return.
The stories I hear at work display how quickly one can be defined. Yesterday, you were you. Today, you are labeled disabled. What feels like yesterday, a man that works at Transitions Foundation was riding in the passenger seat when his open soda fell from his lap to the floor. He removed his seat belt to recover the bottle and save his friends upholstery with several paper napkins. In the window of only a few seconds, while vulnerably arching his back, a collision occurred when the car was forced to stop suddenly. Today, a disability. His story ended with a gentle smirk and a passive idiom as an explanation.
Chocobananos and life's little things
Así es la vida.
Taking a break from the NBA playoffs, some coworkers and I were weighing leftovers options in the office refrigerator. The person who runs the kitchen heard the commotion and shuffled down the stairs to help us. His eyes were glazed and red and his eyelashes were matted with fresh tears. I pried for a moment in broken Spanish and discovered that, despite being an irregular verb, to die is conjugated regularly in the past tense. He had just received word of an old friend’s death. No one in the room offered a “sorry for your loss” or comforting hug. I scanned the faces for signs of emotion or concern but there were none. The subject was changed, gas stove lit and his loss was buried with a familiar saying.
Así es la vida.
A man I have come know stared blankly at the floor as he told me about his wife, whom he loved dearly. Last week she came home and told him that she would like to be friends. Five years of marriage. Just friends. She wanted to continue sharing their home and car, but felt that their intimate and married life had run its course. After a moment of silence, he readjusted his legs on the wheelchair and excused himself. He turned to force a smile on his way out and offered one consoling afterthought.
Así es la vida.
One’s problems seem relative in Guatemala, and even more so among the population with a disability. Colds are less limiting, bad days fade quickly, and blisters from wheelchair basketball don’t seem to hurt as badly. People swiftly digest the bad to make time for the good, picking their battles in life. A valuable lesson. I will therefore make a conscious effort to get over my income tax payment.
Please visit the Transitions Foundation website to learn more about the organization and read news articles written by Andrew. To hear more about organizations that empower those with disabilities, check out Lindsey Chapman’s Idealist blog.
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Wise words Andy… reminds me of this:
“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1Thessalonians 5:16
I think this – asi es la vida – is one of the most valueable things I’ve learned here. In the face of dictatorial politics, it could be said to be necessary but regrettable. In the face of lifes ups and downs (which I think are less hidden here) – it’s just true. Life IS like that and the sooner you come to accept it – not give up, but accept – the better.
As to not acknowledging the death of a friend, I’m not so clear. There are rituals here, around those things – stylized and predictable ways of responding to them; the body remains in the house so many days, people come with food, the men play cards and the women prepare the food, everyone joins in the procession to the cemetary…and so on. But I’ve been here in Guate 3-1/2 years and I’m not sure what I’ve seen in terms of response to the death of a friend. He would participate in the ritual mentioned, at the house of the friend, with the family, but maybe for other people – that takes care of it. I don’t know. You’re making me think….I’ll keep my eyes open.