“That’s sexual harassment and I don’t have to take it!”
I remember watching those commercials growing up and learning about sexual harassment. The legal definition of sexual harassment is unwelcome verbal, visual, or physical conduct of a sexual nature that is severe or pervasive and affects working conditions or creates a hostile work environment. I don’t think that those educational commercials and the campaign in general ever made it to the Dominican Republic…or at least not to the average man on the streets.
My work here has caused me to walk around the city a lot. As other American female volunteers can testify, walking along the streets of Puerto Plata is similar to a cat walking through a pack of dogs. Men constantly utter a whistle-like “Ppsstt” through their teeth, which is common. Like the townspeople in the story of the boy who cried wolf, you eventually become unaware when someone may be trying to gain your attention for a legitimate reason. You learn to block everything out and keep walking. If a man offers you his hand as you pass by and you give him yours, thinking he wants to greet you with a friendly high five or a handshake, he may hold onto your hand as you continue to pass. And then you feel violated.
A few days before I gave birth
Undergoing this harassment reached an all time high during 2009 while I was pregnant; I had no leave from my responsibilities of overseeing Project Esperanza programs, and we still had no vehicle. Men would yell comments such as, “Hey, let’s raise that baby together!” or “That’s my baby!” Others smiled and stared excessively while doing the usual calls. This was not an issue when my husband went with me but he did not always do so. It was difficult to bear and I had no choice but to suck it up and keep walking. If I attempted to yell something back in order to defend myself, it only seemed to excite them more. I became an angry, very pregnant, white woman walking down the street which was apparently very entertaining. I really had to bite my tongue and just keep walking. The only appropriate response I felt I could give while maintaining a little dignity would be to simply hold up the middle finger for a few seconds while passing without turning my head to look or show any other signs of agitation. However, I resisted the temptation to do this in an attempt to love my enemies and completely avoid conflict rather than engage in it.
My parents, who visited around the time I gave birth, saw that things were difficult transportation-wise and would only be more difficult with a baby. They agreed to sell the car I used to drive in the U.S. in order to provide funds for the purchase of a vehicle here. We now travel to the boys’ home and school, grassroots schools, and run errands around town much more easily and with much more dignity. The car creates a barrier from those on the street, although it is not 100% as comments are still made. However, they are much less. My suggestion to foreign women walking around the city or a similar city and facing this harassment is to hold onto your dignity. Try not to be flattered because it encourages the behavior, but try to be patient so you can show that you are mature and their actions are not. As for local women facing sexual harassment… we’ll have to leave that for another post.
Caitlin McHale is currently living in Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic as the co-founder and executive director of Project Esperanza. For more about her experiences, check out her blog.
Latest posts by camchale
- They Call Me La Morena: Race in the Dominican Republic - January 18th, 2012
- Doing Fair Trade in an Unfair Society and World - December 15th, 2011
- The Maestro Took the Money! - December 3rd, 2011
- ¿Qué es "el sereno"? - November 8th, 2011
- Our New Bundle of Joy! - October 4th, 2011
- The Case of the Missing Laptop: Part 2 - September 13th, 2011
- The Case of the Missing Laptop: Part 1 - September 6th, 2011
- Reproductive Freedom in a Different Light - August 27th, 2011
- Diabetes and High Blood Pressure: Deadly Diseases on the Island of Hispañola - August 23rd, 2011
- Machismo Madness: Strong to the Point of Weakness - August 16th, 2011
Just this morning, I was walking in Panama City and heard a bunch of cars honking. I could puzzle out no reason for this; traffic was moving slowly. Then I saw her, an attractive woman standing along the road, waiting to cross. That was why.
Sigh.
Incidents like that and those described in this post (and others I’ve heard about) make me want to apologize for all men. I remember having a sit-down chat with girls in my Costa Rican classes and telling them they don’t have to put up with it. They’ll be the ones who bring about change.